Contentment

I've been thinking a lot about contentment lately. I guess what got me started was an article I read in a blog a friend recommended to me.

In the post, if you didn't read it, the author was describing how she had decided to photograph her day, taking pictures of what she was doing every couple of hours, for her blog. As she was looking through them at the end of the day, she felt overwhelming grief. She has been living in Tennessee for the past two years (she had moved from Chicago, I believe), but (for the most part) has never felt content. She didn't enjoy having to drive twenty minutes to get anywhere, she missed "the people, the diversity, [and] the energy..." of the city, and wished she could see human beings around her instead of horses and goats. However, as she looked through the photos she had taken throughout the day, she realized how much she had taken for granted and felt great remorse for never appreciating what she had. (I believe) she and her husband will be moving soon and she suddenly realized all that she will be missing. 


As I read her post, I wondered how she could not have been happy with her life these past two years. I confess that as I've been following her blog, I've had to wipe the drool off my keyboard and stop myself from thinking, "She has the perfect life." She has a small crafting business, goes to nursing school, lives in the country, and has the cutest little house. What's not to love? But then the lightbulb switched on. Everyone has something in his or her own life that he or she doesn't like. I've wished I could be in her shoes. However, as she's been walking in those shoes for the past couple of years, they've been giving her blisters. Her heart has been aching to be somewhere else. She misses city life. She hasn't been content. 


Everyone has something. I may not see it. You may not see it. However, no matter how perfect a person's life may appear to be, that something is still there.


Please don't think that I'm realizing all these things for the first time. No, I'm just seeing them in a fresh light. 


As I've continued to cogitate on this subject and related ones, I've realized how we can fool ourselves sometimes. We can trick ourselves into thinking that if that one thing in our lives were gone, we would be happy. "Oh, if I had her life, I would be happy." "If I only had her shoes, then I would be satisfied." "If I only had his job, then I would be content." If only... 


I'll admit that there have been (many) times when I thought, "If only I were back home, then everything would be better." "If I had her life, then I would be content." I wouldn't have all these problems and I would be happy. But then I have to stop myself and remember that those thoughts are not true. If I were to go back home, I might not experience the problems I do here, but there would be other things. If I had her life, there would be some thorn in the side. (I'm sure attending nursing school would definitely present a challenge.) No matter where you go in life, or what you do, you're never going to find the perfect life. Some of us, however, focus so much on those "If only..." thoughts that we fail to realize that God has already supplied the means for us to be happy and laid them at our feet. 


So, instead of wasting our time chasing a life that will never become a reality, we should appreciate the good God has already poured out on us. And we will find contentment. 


The woman concluded her post by saying, "But as hard as I've tried to point out the things I adore about living here [Tennessee] on this blog (and there are many things that I do), my heart has not been content for so long. And I want that to change. We may not live here for much longer, who knows. But I can live differently for however long it is. So however much longer I live in this house, you can bet I'm going to soak it up. Every drop" (emphasis supplied).


This last part inspired me. Instead of wasting my time wishing things were different or I were somewhere else, I want to soak up everything I can. Every single drop, as she says. I'm probably never going to live in East Timor again. I'm probably never going to have geckos crawling up the walls of my room. I'm probably never going to be able to swim in an ocean that is the temperature of bath water. I'm probably never going to have my character grow as much as it has while I've been teaching this little boy. I'm probably never going to be able to sit right on the ocean's edge, drink mango juice, and watch the sun set. I'm probably not going to drive in this type of traffic any time soon or sweat this much when I spend seventeen minutes outside (at least I hope not). Yes, there are many things that trouble and discourage me. But that will happen everywhere. And I'm never going to have this experience again. So, Lord, I pray You would help me to soak it up. 


 Dear Jesus,
You know my heart. You know the longings and desires I have. Help me to trust You to fulfill them in Your own good time. 
Meanwhile, let me not waste my time thinking that if I only had that "thing," I would be happy. Help me to the live my life to the fullest by absorbing every single drop of goodness You've poured out on me. I tend to become bogged down with the everyday problems of life, gaze over the fence, and think the grass is greener. Let me realize that You've already placed me in just the right pasture for me. 
So help me to soak it up, Lord. 
In Your name I pray, 
Amen