Friendship

A couple of years ago my school’s orchestra and choir were asked to play at a Christian conference in Canada. As a byproduct, all of us students were able to attend the meetings.

One night, after the speaker had finished, I was feeling very dejected. Depression hung on me like a heavy blanket and my current struggle loomed before me like an enormous black cloud, blotting out the sunshine. As my fellow students chatted and small talk filled the speaking hall, I walked over to a close girlfriend of mine. The look on my face gave her a clue as to how I was feeling. I don’t remember the exact dialogue that took place between us, but one fragment of a sentence lodged in my mind. I mentioned to her something about how I was discouraged, and she replied by saying, “Well, my arms aren’t as strong as God’s, but…” And then she hugged me.

That one phrase stuck in my mind. “Well, my arms aren’t as strong as God’s, but…” It spoke to me, providing the spark of inspiration for a poem I began to write that night.

Later, as I tweaked and chipped away at the words, I thought of two people: my sister and, of course, my friend who had first spoken to me those quotable words. They both had seen me go through rough times, but had always (for lack of a better way of describing it; please forgive the cliché) tried to be there for me. Though they were never able to wave a magic wand and make my troubles vanish into a cloud of pink smoke and sparkles, they were Jesus’ hands to me by simply being there for me, praying for me, and giving me a hug. As I wrote into the night, I felt like that simple poem portrayed the kind of friends they had been to me, the kind of friend I wanted to be to others.

As I said before, the poem was written a couple of years ago, but I thought it might be a neat thing to share. Take it as a challenge. You can’t fix your friend’s problems, but you can strive to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ,” as Galatians 6:2 exhorts (NKJV). And as we follow this Biblical injunction, we will be the Father’s hands to others. 

I see you standing here tonight,

In your eyes a heart full of pain,

Trying so hard to win the fight,

But no ground appears to be gained

Sometimes I feel so helpless,

There’s so little I can do,

But on my knees and in my mind

I pray and I fight with you

My arms may not be as strong as God’s

And I can’t win this war for you,

But I will hold you anyways

And be the Father’s hands to you

You cannot see past all the pain

As through this fog you feel and grope

You must believe me when I say

In the Father, there is your hope

Sometimes I feel so helpless,

There’s so little I can do,

But on my knees and in my mind

I pray and I fight with you

My arms may not be as strong as God’s

And I can’t win this war for you,

But I will hold you anyways

And be the Father’s hands to you

What a little darling!

 I absolutely LOVE this picture! His eyes have such a cute expression and I love it in black and white!

They've started an Adventurer club here. Most of the children are Timorese. At this last Sunday's meeting, a mother brought her little boy. He was so darling, I just had to post these pictures of him!

Skipping Stones

Sshhhh…Sshhh…Sshhh. The ocean waves washed over the shore as rhythmically as an old grandmother’s rocking chair creaks back and forth. My student, his father, and I had stopped by the beach to launch their new dragon kite. While they were having fun watching the long-tailed creature soar into the sky, I ambled down to the water’s edge to skip stones across the waves. As I tossed the rocks, I tried to think of an analogy I could pull from the sea. I didn’t receive any fire-from-heaven revelations right then, but slowly an object lesson washed up on the shore of my mind.

Sometimes life throws us about pretty hard. There is an entire cornucopia of obstacles and difficulties that threaten to drown human beings each day. Financial ruin, spiritual depravity, broken homes, and loneliness are just a few. When these things happen, it can feel as though we, like a stone flung into the sea, have been hurled into a murky, watery darkness with no way out. Many of us simply give up in despair and let the undertow of depression drag us down. We wallow in our bitterness while the sands of self-pity ingrain in us the idea that “My circumstances have made me this way and I can never change or be happy again.”

However, this is not the case. When a stone is thrown in exactly the right way, it can actually skip across the water, appearing to defy the laws of nature. The lesson, I’m sure, is obvious. Though life may hurl us into the water and we may be faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles, we can by the grace of God be like a stone skipped across the sea and actually use the waves of hardship to make us better people. We don’t have to drown in our circumstances. We can choose whether or not we will be made bitter or better.

This is a popular topic. There is a plethora of quotes and clichés, speeches and songs that, in essence, tell us to make lemonade out of our cruddy produce. This advice can seem rather insensitive and difficult to swallow, especially if you’ve just been given a tough break. However, if you and I don’t make a deliberate choice to carry on, we will find ourselves in a watery prison of darkness and despair. But as we choose to bring our broken, shattered hearts and lives to Jesus, we will find true freedom and the ability to skip across the waves.

Now, for an agonizingly cliché appeal: what will you choose?

Dili, East Timor

Wow! I realize that I haven’t blogged for a long time and I apologize for that, but things have been rather busy here. I arrived here in East Timor September 13^th. That makes it about a month that I’ve been here. Time flies for sure. It’s been an amazing experience! It’s so fun to see so many new things and learn more about other cultures. I love the beaches here. It really confuses my brain though, seeing all the palm trees. I’m so used the cold waters in Canada or Alaska.

When I first arrived here they were having a bike race, called the Tour de Timor. It’s a mountain bike race and since there aren’t many social events here in Dili (the capital of East Timor), there were LOTS of people there to see all the racers finish. That’s what the first pictures are of. My student’s father was actually a contestant in the race. However, I didn’t manage to get a picture of him.

Teaching has been a good experience in a different way. I won’t lie. It’s been very challenging for me and my character is being refined a LOT. But I’m very glad I came! There are times when I think being in the US would be easier, and it would, but I wouldn’t grow near so much. I thank God for bringing me here.

I think that’s the issue with a lot of people. We think we’re good. We don’t seem to fail, but in reality we’re simply comfortable. We take the easiest path and are never challenged. We never really grow at all.

So, we shouldn’t be discouraged when things are hard or we fail because that means we’re trying. We’re growing. Proverbs 24:16 tells us that the righteous man falls seven times. It doesn’t say that the wicked fall at all! In some ways it may feel like he’s doing better than you, but really he’s just stagnant and complacent.

Anyway, enough preaching.

I’ve also learned how much I really depend on my friends and family. Due to the time difference, I can’t just talk to them whenever I want. It really helps me to appreciate them more.

Well, I’m going to end this for now. Hopefully I’ll be able to blog again sooner than later.

I'm in Korea!

I'm sitting in the Korean Airport. The mountains (or really bumpy hills) are quite pretty.

I have a lot of time to kill today. I may try to get on a tour. So far things have gone really smoothly on my journey. Praise God for that:D

Asiana Airlines is quite nice. They fed me two meals (they were actually pretty good for airplane food), gave me a steaming, hot towel for my gross, traveling face, and a pair of hideous slippers to walk around the plane in. Yes, they had very good service.

I'm getting hungry. I'm not too tired yet, but I know I will be soon.

I had written up a nice blog post while I was on the plane, but it didnt' really work now that I'm actually here in Korea and I didn't feel like taking the time to write up a new one that was just as nice. Maybe I will next time.

Well, that's all for now folks. If anything remarkably interesting happens to me, like some handsome asian guy proposes or I miss my flight to Singapore, I will try and get my act together and blog about it, for my grandmother's sake.

My adorable nephew

This is my nephew, Ethan. He's the cutest thing (and I'm not biased at all)! I posted some doubles because I liked both the black and white and the sepia. Oh, my! I can't believe how big this guy has gotten. I was there when he was born and he was so stinkin' little! This last one is probably my favorite, if I had to chose one.

The Puppet

I recently arrived back home from YFJ in Sacramento, California. While there I met some amazing people. I heard some amazing worships and made some awesome friends. One of these friends gave a worship talk that sort of inspired me to write this. I don't know who likes poetry and who doesn't, but it's just an expression of my thoughts, things that were on my mind after YFJ. I thought I would share it with  y'all. Thank you so much Pastor Daddio for your inspiration and Chelsea Bond for being a great sounding board!

The Puppet

I walk out on the lighted stage

Knowing my part quite well.

All the audience can see

Is my pretty, puppet shell.

But when the curtains have been drawn

And there’s no reas’n to hide

 My pretty, puppet shell falls off,

Exposing the sin inside.

Lord, I’m tired of being a puppet

Of playing the Christian game

I have a form, but deny its power

It’s no deeper than a name.

Lord, I’m tired of being a puppet

That cannot see or feel.

Please consume this whitewashed tomb

Cut my strings; make me real.

While in the pew, I sing and play

The godly part too well

But when at home, my family sees

I’m only a child of hell.

I claim to be on fire for You,

Giving up all for Your cause

Yet my life is a stumbling block

Causing others’ eternal loss

Lord, I’m tired of being a puppet

Of playing the Christian game

I have a form, but deny its power

It’s no deeper than a name.

Lord, I’m tired of being a puppet

That cannot see or feel

Please consume this whitewashed tomb

Cut my strings; make me real.

Though it’s easier to masquerade

Than to let You change my heart,

Lord, I want to be authentic

Please rip my shell apart

My Dormmates...

These are my illustrious dormmates! I just love them...we share food, laughs, and memories. They each have such distinct personalities. Anyway, I'm going to miss them so much next year!!!!