Contentment

I've been thinking a lot about contentment lately. I guess what got me started was an article I read in a blog a friend recommended to me.

In the post, if you didn't read it, the author was describing how she had decided to photograph her day, taking pictures of what she was doing every couple of hours, for her blog. As she was looking through them at the end of the day, she felt overwhelming grief. She has been living in Tennessee for the past two years (she had moved from Chicago, I believe), but (for the most part) has never felt content. She didn't enjoy having to drive twenty minutes to get anywhere, she missed "the people, the diversity, [and] the energy..." of the city, and wished she could see human beings around her instead of horses and goats. However, as she looked through the photos she had taken throughout the day, she realized how much she had taken for granted and felt great remorse for never appreciating what she had. (I believe) she and her husband will be moving soon and she suddenly realized all that she will be missing. 


As I read her post, I wondered how she could not have been happy with her life these past two years. I confess that as I've been following her blog, I've had to wipe the drool off my keyboard and stop myself from thinking, "She has the perfect life." She has a small crafting business, goes to nursing school, lives in the country, and has the cutest little house. What's not to love? But then the lightbulb switched on. Everyone has something in his or her own life that he or she doesn't like. I've wished I could be in her shoes. However, as she's been walking in those shoes for the past couple of years, they've been giving her blisters. Her heart has been aching to be somewhere else. She misses city life. She hasn't been content. 


Everyone has something. I may not see it. You may not see it. However, no matter how perfect a person's life may appear to be, that something is still there.


Please don't think that I'm realizing all these things for the first time. No, I'm just seeing them in a fresh light. 


As I've continued to cogitate on this subject and related ones, I've realized how we can fool ourselves sometimes. We can trick ourselves into thinking that if that one thing in our lives were gone, we would be happy. "Oh, if I had her life, I would be happy." "If I only had her shoes, then I would be satisfied." "If I only had his job, then I would be content." If only... 


I'll admit that there have been (many) times when I thought, "If only I were back home, then everything would be better." "If I had her life, then I would be content." I wouldn't have all these problems and I would be happy. But then I have to stop myself and remember that those thoughts are not true. If I were to go back home, I might not experience the problems I do here, but there would be other things. If I had her life, there would be some thorn in the side. (I'm sure attending nursing school would definitely present a challenge.) No matter where you go in life, or what you do, you're never going to find the perfect life. Some of us, however, focus so much on those "If only..." thoughts that we fail to realize that God has already supplied the means for us to be happy and laid them at our feet. 


So, instead of wasting our time chasing a life that will never become a reality, we should appreciate the good God has already poured out on us. And we will find contentment. 


The woman concluded her post by saying, "But as hard as I've tried to point out the things I adore about living here [Tennessee] on this blog (and there are many things that I do), my heart has not been content for so long. And I want that to change. We may not live here for much longer, who knows. But I can live differently for however long it is. So however much longer I live in this house, you can bet I'm going to soak it up. Every drop" (emphasis supplied).


This last part inspired me. Instead of wasting my time wishing things were different or I were somewhere else, I want to soak up everything I can. Every single drop, as she says. I'm probably never going to live in East Timor again. I'm probably never going to have geckos crawling up the walls of my room. I'm probably never going to be able to swim in an ocean that is the temperature of bath water. I'm probably never going to have my character grow as much as it has while I've been teaching this little boy. I'm probably never going to be able to sit right on the ocean's edge, drink mango juice, and watch the sun set. I'm probably not going to drive in this type of traffic any time soon or sweat this much when I spend seventeen minutes outside (at least I hope not). Yes, there are many things that trouble and discourage me. But that will happen everywhere. And I'm never going to have this experience again. So, Lord, I pray You would help me to soak it up. 


 Dear Jesus,
You know my heart. You know the longings and desires I have. Help me to trust You to fulfill them in Your own good time. 
Meanwhile, let me not waste my time thinking that if I only had that "thing," I would be happy. Help me to the live my life to the fullest by absorbing every single drop of goodness You've poured out on me. I tend to become bogged down with the everyday problems of life, gaze over the fence, and think the grass is greener. Let me realize that You've already placed me in just the right pasture for me. 
So help me to soak it up, Lord. 
In Your name I pray, 
Amen

More Pictures

 On the other side of town (opposite of the side where they have the humongous statue of Jesus ironically) is a giant statue of one of the popes; I don't remember which one. This picture was taken either on the way there or at the top, where they have the statue.

 We were singing some songs when all these nuns came out, sat down on the steps of the statue, and began singing to Mary. The sun was setting and it was all very beautiful.

These pictures were taken back in January. However, since this blog has really been lacking in pictures for the past months, I decided to put them up anyway. The first ones are on our way to the statue of the Pope. It's up on a hill, next to a church. It's quite beautiful to walk up there. We went up on a Sabbath evening and sang songs and just relaxed as the sun set. I hope you enjoy the photos.

This is a Test

Americans from the church.

Right before I realized I wasn't welcome in the photo.

They are just so cute!

Crazy kids...

I like this one.

Well, I'm feeling giddy with excitement. This post was just a test to see if I actually succeeded in downsizing my pictures and I did! Now I can upload them a bzillion times faster! I'm so thankful for friends and family (Jerick Arceo) who are knowledgeable in the ways of technology. I'm learning from them little by little. 

Hopefully, I'll be sharing many more photos with you in the future. By the way, these photos are not in chronological order and mostly unedited. Hope you enjoy them!

The Timorese Kids and I

I've been pretty lazy with my photography lately. So this last weekend, when someone suggested we go to the beach to watch the sunset, I decided to bring my camera and take some pictures. I need something to show my family when I get home. 

The beach we went to is called Comoro Beach. It's really beautiful! When I first arrived here in Timor, we went there to swim. My brain was thoroughly flummoxed. I'm used to swimming in Canadian lakes and the Pacific ocean, not a bathtub-temperature ocean with a palm tree backdrop. It took a while to get used to. 

During this last Sabbath evening we were there, a nice breeze was blowing and a bunch of locals were playing soccer and providing some good subject material. 

Our group consisted of an American family from church, the family I live with, and of course, myself. While we were hanging out, the four local children in the pictures above came running on the beach. I saw them and started to take some pictures. I really love taking pictures of the kids/people here (I just need to do it more often!). The children are so precious! They laughed as my shutter went click, click, click. The mother of my student recently bought the Canon 60D. So she was also snapping away. She asked me if I would like a picture with the children. I'd been realizing lately how I didn't really have many pictures of myself here, so I enthusiastically agreed. I plopped down next to the kids and grinned. However, as you can see in the pictures above, it only took a second for the little boy next to me to decide he was too close for comfort. I found this hilarious (and so did all of my friends) and I absolutely love the photos I was able to get! I laughed as Ruth snapped away. (I'm sorry I don't have more pictures. It takes a long time to upload them, hence, there is only a few. Come and find me when I'm back in the states if you would like to see more.) I love these pictures because they have a story behind them and they have character. I hope you enjoy them as well. 

I've been wanting to blog more. God's been teaching me many things. I'm learning so much that sometimes it feels as though my brain needs to pee. I know that's a really disgusting simile, but to be honest, it describes perfectly how I feel sometimes. All these wonderful ideas of things I could write about come to me (usually at the most inconvenient times, like right when I need to go to bed) and fill up my mind. As my brain is brimming, an urgent signal is sent out, telling me that I need to pull the plug and drain some of these ideas out (although usually only one turns out really well). I need to write. It's kind of like that, "Gotta go!" feeling. 

Well, I'll quit grossing you out. Hopefully I'll be able to drain my mind again soon.