The First Time

A good friend of mine shared this song with me this week as we were on the bus driving back to school. I hadn't heard it before, but it was such a blessing, I thought I would share it with everyone else!

So many times I feel like I understand God's grace, His love, and that I've heard it all before; let me learn something new. But this song reminded me that God, His love, grace, and character really are an inexhaustible ocean. You can never come to the end of infinity, can you?

I pray that I won't shut Him down in the mornings, thinking I already know it all and that I need to move on to something else.

Lord, teach me and take me deeper in Your love, so that it's as if I'm seeing it for the first time.

Nobody Vs. Somebody

Somebody I love emailed this to me. I'm not sure where she got it, but it touched me, so I thought I would share it.

"The King of the universe gave up all of his power, honor, the glory of heaven to live on earth. 

His supernatural splendor was buried deep, so that no one would follow Him because of it. 

He wanted nothing to do with looking good or being popular.  

He wanted only the appeal of truth - real, heavenly truth-to grab people's interest. 

He wanted people to accept Him because they recognized Him from the words of Scripture."

Yesterday, I found myself praying, "Lord, make me content to be a nobody." I want so badly to be noticed, to matter, to be needed, to be somebody.  

But when I read this paragraph, a contrasting desire is awakened, a desire to be like Jesus. Jesus didn't strive to be noticed, to prove He mattered, to be somebody. That wasn't His goal. He knew He was His Father's Son and that His Father loved Him, and so being in the center of His Father's will was what mattered. He didn't have to do anything else to prove to anyone else that He was worth noticing. If nobody noticed, but He was still in the center His Father's will, then it was all OK because that's what mattered. 

I want to be like that. I want to be able to honestly say that I want nothing to do with looking good or being popular. I want to be able to say I'm my Father's daughter. He loves me and I love Him and so being in the center of His will is all that matters. I don't need to do anything else to prove to anyone else that I'm somebody worth noticing. If I'm in the will of Him who loves me, but nobody else notices, then it's all OK, because that is what matters.

But I find myself trying to be noticed all the time. So I pray...

Lord, make me not only content, but only desiring to be a nobody to everyone except You. 

My love is not my own
It all belongs to You
And after all You've done the least that I
Can do
Is live my life
In every part
Only to please my Father's heart

--Excerpt from "My Father's Heart" by Rachel Lampa

A Princess, a Yo-yo, And a Cabin in the Woods

When I was younger, my mom used to take us to visit some friends of ours that lived on a farm. One of my favorite games to play at their house was a game we called "Runaway Princess." Basically, my friend Katherine, her younger sister Cecelia, my sister Sarah, and I would pretend we were princesses and that we were running away (pretty simple, hey?). My younger brother Nick and Katherine's brother Gabriel were the bad guys who had to try and catch us. We usually started out at Katherine's house with a backpack or bag or something containing snacks and other miscellaneous articles four princesses might need while they were running away. Then we would sneak and slink, pad and prowl, and sometimes run through the hills, woods, and wilderness and around the barns and gardens, and all through the property. I don't remember what was the safety zone or even if we had one.

I do remember, however, the adrenaline rushing through my veins when we would be hurtling through the yard, running for our lives, hoping they wouldn't see us, and then hearing the enemy scream, "Look! There they are! Get 'em!!!" Then we would manage to lose them when we hid in the brumbles and bushes or ran inside the house. Everything was so dramatic. We whispered everywhere we went so as not to be heard. We planned out intricate and complicated routes that would take us all over creation in hopes that our familial foes wouldn't be able to follow us.

It was truly exhilarating to be a runaway princess.

But this morning, during my devotions, the Lord reminded me that I'm still a runaway princess. I runaway from Him all the time. Each time I listen to the devils lies and give into temptation, I run further and further away from my Father and straight into the arms of sin.

Imagine where would be if I would put the same energy and intensity into my walk with God and listening to what He has to tell me as I did in being a runaway princess. If only I would runaway from the devil, from myself, that quickly. If only I did my best to make the most intricate and complicated routes to get away from temptation.

But it seems like I go back and forth. I run away from sin, then back to it. I run away from God, then back to Him. Sometimes it's so discouraging because I fail so much and I just feel like giving up the fight. It feels like "yo-yo religion." Yo-yos are fun toys. They go up and down, up and down, up and down...but they don't go anywhere. I can't tell you how many times I've felt like that. I'm going up and down, up and down, but I'm not getting anywhere. Might as well give up.

But then this evening, I thought of a better way to illustrate my walk with God. Several weeks ago, I went on a campout to a small cabin across the river, nestled way up in the mountains. I'm not a super outdoorsy person, but they needed staff, so I was the lucky duck to be chosen. I'd been to this cabin once before, but near the end of the school year when there wasn't any snow. Now there was a lot of snow. And to top it off, we had to use snow shoes, which I had never tried before.

As we walked up, the path was fairly wide and became narrower and narrower. In the beginning it wasn't too steep. But pretty soon we walked single file and it was up, up, up. I got so tired sometimes. The snowshoes slowed things down as well. Sometimes I would trip and fall; it felt so awkward, especially since I hadn't done it before.

However, at one point, as we were walking up a small, steep point, I turned around and saw a breath-taking sight--towering snow-covered mountains bathed in sunlight. You have to see it to really appreciate it and know what I'm talking about. We were up so high and were able to see how far we had come, despite the feeling that it was taking an eternity to get there. I told my friend Ashley that it really made a great object lesson, which is the one I want to end with.

In our walk with God, it's easy to become discouraged because the path can be so hard. It gets so steep, we fall so much, and realize how out of shape we are. It might be easier to simply give up, turn around, and go back to a warm bed. But then I have to realize that "the closer you come to Jesus, the more faulty you will appear in your own eyes" (BEcho December 1, 1892, par. 5) and that it's the righteous man who falls seven times, but he keeps getting up (see Proverbs 24:16).

The devil would like to convince me that I'm a princess who's run away from the arms of the King too many times, that I'm a yo-yo that isn't going anywhere, but the truth is, if I keep putting my hand in Jesus', then it simply means I'm an awkward, not very experienced snowshoer who's putting one foot in front of the other until she gets to the top. And He will take me to the top, no matter how many times I fall. And at some point, I'll be able to look back and see how far God has truly lead me, even when I felt like it was taking an eternity to get there.

Sabbath Prayer

Lord, please save me and make it easy, but if You can't make it easy, then save me anyway.

"Lord, take my heart; for I cannot give it. It is Thy property. Keep it pure, for I cannot keep it for Thee. Save me in spite of myself, my weak, unchristlike self. Mold me, fashion me, raise me into a pure and holy atmosphere, where the rich current of Thy love can flow through my soul" (COL, pg. 159.3).

My Collection

A lot of people are into collecting. 

And there's a plethora of things to collect: teacups,

ties,

shoes, hats, mugs, dresses, electric guitars, vintage items, dolls, and the list goes on...

I don't collect many of the above items, but....

I do collect quotes. 

I love a good quote. And I love words. It's like there's a little bell inside of me that rings whenever I discover an especially meaningful, witty, or wise saying (I know that's kind of a weird simile, but it's honestly what comes to mind). So my sophomore year in high school I bought a small notebook at Michaels to write them all down. It's not full yet (due to my lack of diligence), but it's definitely over half way. Some of them are funny (I like things that make me laugh) and some are sappy. Some are spiritual and some are just plain weird. 

So today, I thought I would pick some to share with you all. The problem is narrowing it down. It would take way too long to write the whole book down. 

"There was a definite process by which one made people into friends; it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time." --Rebecca West

"He who knows why can bear any how." --Friedrich Nietzsche

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."--Mark Twain

"A happy family is heaven on earth." --Unknown

"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying."--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You're born an original, don't die a copy." --J. Mason

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly." --Patrick Overton

This one is kind of long, but I really love it. 

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or short coming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." --Teddy Roosevelt

"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." --George Washington Carver

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." --John Milton

"Music dances in high meadows of the open mind, far above the reaches of even the noblest of spoken words." --Unknown

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." --Ernest Hemingway

"The place where God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." --Frederick Beuchner

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." --Amber Holiday

"Always be kind, for there are many tears shed upon the heart before even one reaches the eyes." --Unknown

These are just random ones I liked from my book. I hope you enjoyed them. 

Do you have any favorite quotes? I'd love to hear them and add them to my book:)

Keys

As a dean, one thing I always have to carry with me is my keys. I've found it necessary to take them everywhere when I'm on duty. When I first arrived, I was always trying to figure out which key opened which door. Now, I pretty much know (at least for the doors I use most often) which key to use as well as which locks have to be jiggled and coerced and which door handles you have to pull on while simultaneously turning the key to lock the door.

As I was walking today, I was thinking of how I need spiritual keys. In witnessing to people, you have to find the key to their hearts in order to influence them. They have to let you in the door in order to build a relationship. It's not an easy thing and it takes a lot of time trying to figure out which key works for which door, which door handles have to be jiggled and tugged, and which ones simply need a gentle turn. There are some doors you try and unlock but it seems like none of your keys can do the trick. However, later on you come back, try again, and the door swings wide open.

Though I've figured out how to unlock the most necessary doors here, I'm praying God can show me--wherever I go in life--how to unlock the doors to people's hearts. As I interact with others, I see hearts that not only have locked door knobs, but have quadruple dead bolts as well. Some have video surveillance cameras on the door posts with laser sensors hidden in the doorbell. Still others have big, drooling Rottweilers sitting on the porch and the yard is surrounded by an eight-food chain link fence and covered in trip wires and land mines. OK, I'm not sure if I'm getting a little carried away with my analogy, but you get the point.

Sometimes these exteriors are so intimidating and it's hard to be bold as you Bible work, canvass, or work in whatever position the Lord has placed you. It's hard to know what to do. Each door is different. Some take some tugging and some have to be dealt with gently. I guess all I can say is that when it comes to witnessing, I'm made much more aware of how inefficient and small in number my set of keys is. I'm made much more aware of how selfish, inwardly focused, and ill equipped I am.

However, Jesus said once, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with Me" (Revelation 3:20, ESV). 

Father, 
You of all people know how to open the doors to people's hearts. Lately I've been realizing how badly I need Your help. Please lend me your keys. You know what can turn the lock on each door, whether that be love shown in quality time, some kind words, a smile, or whatever it may be. Please give me a heart to love those around me. Give me the strength to do whatever it takes to show that love. And lastly, help me to trust you even when the doors continue to remain locked. 
Allie

Everything to Me--A Poem

Writing is a vent for my soul. Lately I haven't been doing enough of it though and I've been feeling the need for it. So I apologize for the lack of activity on this blog.

Tonight I had some unexpected free time. Well, technically I'm working, but there are only a few girls here and they're busy eating junk food in their rooms or working on homework or whatever. But to get the the point, I sat down with my computer thinking I should really write something, but I couldn't think of what to write. Quite a frustrating feeling.

So I decided to share a poem I wrote a while back. I really believe God inspired it. Normally it can take quite a while for me to write something like this. But this was done very quickly, a bit over a day. Glory goes to God.

Let me also just preface it by saying that I used to think that I shouldn't focus as much on messages that talk about our value to God. Well, I guess I just felt like maybe I was focusing on them too much and that I should focus on more "meaty" messages. Messages on identity, value, etc., just seemed to be kind of fluffy. However, lately I've been realizing that this is actually is a very meaty topic. It's an issue that a lot of people struggle with and I believe that the devil is really attacking people on it. And as I look around me, even people who've been Christians all their lives haven't yet begun to find their worth, value, and identity in Christ. It seems like I fail at that every day. But at the same time, I can tell God has been teaching me and showing me that if we can get this down, we can get most anything else.

The poem is written from God's perspective, showing what I imagined some of His thoughts must be as He looks at this world filled with hurting people who don't understand His love for them. I hope you're blessed by it.

Oh, and I may change the title. I'm not sure yet.

Everything To Me

I wish you could see the tears I cried

As I watched you try to end your night

Cause you didn't think you were worth this life

How can I make you see?

I wish you could see My own heart break

As I watch you, crushed under the weight

Of searching for worth, somewhere, someway

How can I make you see?

You're My symphony, My song

My treasured child all along

For you, the universe I risked

Cause I want you more than I want to exist

How can I make you see?

You're worth everything to me.

My splintered cross stands to prove

That there is nothing you could do

To earn the worth I find in you

How can I make you see?

You’re valued in and of yourself

Not for your works, beauty, or wealth

For while you were a sinner, I gave Myself

How can I make you see?

You're My symphony, My song

My treasured child all along

For you, the universe I risked

Cause I want you more than I want to exist

How can I make you see?

You're worth everything to me.

Won't you live in light of this love?

My heart aches for you to live in light of this love

How can I make you see?

You're worth everything to me.