What Fifty Squirts Can Teach You

If you could go to the other side of the world and turn back the calendar pages approximately a year and half, you'd find me on a beautiful Javanese beach, bookended by hills covered with jungle greenery. My friends and I had arrived at the turtle sanctuary located near the beach the night before and had the privilege of watching a sea turtle lay her eggs in the sand and bury them by the light of the moon with the crashing of the ocean waves in the background. Now, this morning, we had fifty baby sea turtles that were ready to be released on their own journeys into the wide expanse of the Indian Ocean.

They looked so small and wiggled more than worms. (It's quite pathetic, but when I held them, I kept thinking of Squirt from Finding Nemo.) As we pulled the crawling creatures out of the bucket we were given and watched them scuttle towards the sea, ready to explore life with no plastic boundaries, I remembered thinking that I'd heard something from somewhere that sea turtles come back to the same beach they were born. I recently checked to verify this fact, and I found that it is true (however, it's only the females that come back). It honestly boggles my mind, and the minds of scientists who study sea turtles, to think that something small enough to fit in the palm of my hand can travel the vast expanse of the ocean, grow, learn, change, fight predators, find food, and then navigate her way back to the same beach where she was born.

I think if I'd been one of those tiny turtles I set on the shore, once I got an eyeful of the Indian Ocean with its enormous waves and endless waters that seem to disappear into the horizon, I'd be booking it back to that bucket faster than you can say, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" I'd probably need a few appointments with a counselor to help me sort through some anxiety issues and get over the fear of leaving home and my hundred or so brothers and sisters whom I would be very attached to. That's probably why I'm not a turtle.

Although lately, I've been feeling like one, like I've been set on the shore of a humongous ocean and I'm supposed to jump in. However, I'm not sure which way to go and, to be frank, I'm scared and would almost rather crawl back into the bucket. Thinking about the future sometimes (often) tends to make me anxious. Certain thoughts about what I'm going to do with my life will spark in my mind and set me on a depressing hamster wheel thought train that goes faster and faster until I'm exhausted and overwhelmed because I wasn't born with an Allie Wahlman's Life Journey Manual (though I sometimes [often] almost wish I was) and I don't know what I'm doing with my life! *deep breath*

However, if God can show those fifty Squirts where they're supposed to go and what they're supposed to do, if He can show a turtle how to get back to her home beach after thousands and thousands of miles of wandering, then maybe...maybe He can help me find my way.

I'm not speaking from a place of perfect trust and surrender to the Lord (pray for me). I'm speaking from a place of fear of the unknown. I'm not really sure what's going to happen in the next couple of years, whether I'll be at Fountainview or somewhere else. But the memory of fifty sea turtles scuttling across the sand toward something bigger than they've ever dreamed of keeps coming to mind, reminding me I will find my way, as an Andrew Peterson song puts it, I will find my way back home. The same God who guides the turtles through the monstrous waves can and will help me find my way if I stick with Him.

You'll Find Your Way by Andrew Peterson

When I look at you, boy
I can see the road that lies ahead
I can see the love and the sorrow

Bright fields of joy
Dark nights awake in a stormy bed
I want to go with you, but I can’t follow

So keep to the old roads
Keep to the old roads
And you’ll find your way

Your first kiss, your first crush
The first time you know you’re not enough
The first time there’s no one there to hold you

The first time you pack it all up
And drive alone across America
Please remember the words that I told you

Keep to the old roads
Keep to the old roads
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way

If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
Back home

And I know you'll be scared when you take up that cross
And I know it'll hurt, 'cause I know what it costs
And I love you so much and it's so hard to watch
But you're gonna grow up and you're gonna get lost
Just go back, go back

Go back, go back to the ancient paths
Lash your heart to the ancient mast
And hold on, boy, whatever you do
To the hope that's taken hold of you
And you'll find your way
You'll find your way
If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
Back home